we have pet lesbian snakes
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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