Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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