the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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