waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
