the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
