The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
