chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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