You're my little dorito
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
