But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
