well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Floor bacon is actually really good
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
