fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
