Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
