i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
