look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
