Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The dick lei will go down in squad history
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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