I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
