look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
How external is "for external use only"?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
