Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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