playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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