my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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