How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
