Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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