How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
