Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize