I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My day in three words: secret purse cake
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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