wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize