Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
