I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
