Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
