Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
