ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
