i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
