I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
