hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
