He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
