Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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