yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
