im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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