Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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