Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Slut skills are useful in every country.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
