she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
