I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
