smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
