just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
