we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
