What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
