the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
