i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I understand Curling. That high.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize