I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
