8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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