This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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