My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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