Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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