carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
