why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
