she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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