Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
