elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
