Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
