I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
