waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So squirting runs in the family.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
