You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
