I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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