im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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